Filed under: Leadership, Personal Transformation | Tags: Leadership, stephen mcghee
Great leaders give. We give all the time. We look for places to give. We are not shy about being taken advantage of, because giving has a result to it. We are not looking for someone to notice our giving and even if they won’t, we give anyway. We do it because it is endemic to our nature. Sometimes you get tired. You get tired because you think you have given all there is to give. Most of us have way more to give than we think. The more we extend ourselves, the more energy comes back around. There is a natural flow to the order of giving. As a leader, all of us have way more energy to give than we think we do. Leadership is not stingy. It is steeped in generosity. This is why I coach people to find something they love to do. The more you love what you do each day, the more you will want to share yourself with your team and the people you love in your life. You will not be keeping track of how you serve others, because keeping track detracts from the service itself.
Sometimes we fall prey to becoming lazy leaders. We think we have been betrayed and we stop sharing our enthusiasm with others, as if we will find redemption in our own withholding. Holding back stinks! It backs up on you. It keeps you stuck in a rut of blame and resentment. If you want out of the jail of self deception, then I invite you to find someone or something to give everything you can to. Find a project at work or at home and give until it hurts. I recommend putting so much inspiration and enthusiasm into this project that you reach a point where you don’t think you can give anymore. Don’t look to be noticed. Look to see how you experience yourself. You will fill up. If you’ll trust me on this, you will see that the dam of “getting” becomes unblocked by your “giving:” Do not look for remuneration as that steals away the giving nature of the leader. I can’t tell you how many people I know that are stuck right now. I know the feeling, as I have been steeped in stuck many times in my life. How do you get unstuck? Give to someone that is more stuck than you. Listen to them. Assist them. Serve those people and see what happens to your own way of being. You will be lifted and come clear into your own life. Do it until it hurts.
It’s like lifting weights. It hurts good. It takes a real man to do this, even if you’re a woman; it requires manning up. Many of us are soft of giving. There is a shift at hand in our world. There is an opportunity to break away from the divisive roles of spiritual, family, corporate and political division. The access to collaboration is through our giving. It’s in the sharing of ideas, even if those ideas differ. We don’t need to agree in our giving; and as “shared” leaders we can align. What do you as a leader get from all of this? You get yourself back. You get the truth of your existence and the inspiration of a moment that has you unveil yet another moment and on we go. It builds a momentum that is beyond compare.
What will you give OF yourself this week?
Lead on.
Did you know the roots of a tree grow deeper in the ground during storm season? I never knew that until today. I was grateful to hear it though, because it makes sense. Nature is pretty smart and does not waste things. Nature uses things. It creates constantly and uses all its resources to continue thriving. I think some people are like that too. They use the storms of their lives to grow. They don’t pretend things are perfect and they use the good and the bad for growth. After over a decade of teaching leadership, I think this may be one of the (if not the single) most important elements for great leadership. It’s using hardships as blessings and turning challenges into a lesson learned. Leaders don’t avoid the hardship (at least the ones I follow). They just take the situation and learn from it.
I recently had the opportunity to personally observe this powerful concept in action. It stemmed from a conversation I had with a wonderful leader. As our talk unfolded, his eyes welled up with tears. I had been pretty fierce in my conversation with him. I knew he would see the beauty in it. Like I have done a hundred times in my life, he was avoiding the deepest truth about himself. He was not living in full alignment. As we continued to talk, I could see him shifting. I could feel him going deeper into his own self contemplation. He admitted as we talked that this particular burden had been heavy on him for a long time. Once he could see it, he could accept it; and use it for his learning. If he would have denied it, he would have continued to feel the burden. Self-Denial can weigh us down. Identifying where I deny myself can set me free. Heck yes, it takes courage to look deeply at oneself. The most authentically enthusiastic people I know do this regularly. Burdens can be a gift. They can be beautiful. Burdens that we carry can actually strengthen us.
I find it’s supportive for me to identify what the burden is. Once I can identify the challenges in my life and business, I can look for how the hardship is actually serving me. Can you hear that? A tough situation is really nothing more than a way to make me grow stronger. Hey, I am not asking for more tough situations; and I am saying that when they show up, use them to grow and learn.
Today, I encourage you to identify a challenge you are dealing with. Ask yourself a few simple questions. How is this burden strengthening me? How is it bringing me a more powerful focus? In what way, does this situation enliven me?
I know it may sound crazy and as I think back over my life, many of the toughest things I have dealt with; have made me more real, more authentic and more compassionate. Those times in my life have also made me more appreciative of the people and situations in my life. Today, I encourage you to find the beauty in your burdens.
Blessings
It’s so sexy and fun coming up with new goals and objectives. Most of us are pretty good at coming up with them. Fewer of us are good at sticking to them. It’s like glitter and gold talking about them. Sounds great when we sit around the board room table or in the kitchen over champagne talking about what we want different in our business or life. Then, the holiday’s are over and the intention of the goal begins to wane. It doesn’t sound fun anymore and the reality of the objective requires discipline and persistence. It also requires great consistency. It’s not too late to establish consistency with your objectives for this New Year. My sense is that many of us are doing just that. You are resolute and you are on track with your promises for what you are creating as a leader. Get clear now, that the day will come; when you lose the sizzle of the new substance. When that day arrives, I suggest you get intimate with the vigilance of your leadership. Vigilance toward anything positive will get your juices flowing on all levels of creation.
All I am saying is that vigilance is a natural part of any accomplishment. You must be vigilant toward your vision of that great thing. Stop for a second and choose one of the things you want to be different in your life before the end of this year. I invite you to see it clearly and reconnect with the joy of accomplishing that objective. Make sure you have a clear way of knowing when you have accomplished your goal. Measure it if you can. You can measure almost anything if you get creative enough. Get vigilant toward your measurement. Take one step at a time and be resolute toward the completion of that thing. For me, I often lose the good feeling I had when I came up with the idea. Its critical that I understand that feeling good is not a prerequisite for doing something. Actually, the good feeling normally comes to me; once I have actually taken the step. This is an example of vigilance. This is an example of freedom. It is mature and adds value.
Since, I am essentially a lazy person; I tell lots of people what I am going to do. I do this on purpose, because my peeps don’t let me off that hook that easily. For example, I have been talking about climbing a mountain for a number of years. Talk is cheap. I grew tired of my cheap talk. Last week I started telling lots of people that I will climb Aconcagua (really tall mountain) in South America next February of 2011. Clearly telling other people that I will do this assists me in being vigilant toward my goal. It keeps me stepping.
As a leader, you will find that vigilance develops confidence. It offers esteem, because at some point you will begin to know you are going to do what you say. You will count on your Self and this feels really freaking good. There won’t be any room for ambiguity. There is room for flexibility and correcting on your course…but as a leader there is no room for indifference. If you feel indifferent about an “objective”, I encourage you to check inwardly to see if you really want that thing. If you feel clear about what you want to accomplish keep stepping…one step, one thought, one action at a time…
So, what is your mountain? What will keep you stepping? I would love to hear what brings out your vigilance and freedom.
All The Way To the Summit.
Stephen
Filed under: Uncategorized
Don’t get so serious. Most of the bad stuff we conjure up doesn’t happen. Somebody even told me a statistic on it once. I can’t remember the exact number but the odds are highly stacked in your favor. It’s pretty hard to roll with the punches when I get too serious. I can’t really see the flexibility in a situation or a solution when I get overly positioned. I know a few leaders that have some pretty serious responsibility. These leaders deal with consequences that affect life and death scenarios. It’s understandable how they might get a little serious sometimes. And even these leaders might consider lightening up a little bit. Most of us think that by getting serious we are going to get a better margin on profit or something. From my experience these people take themselves way too seriously to the degree that self importance becomes the primary focus. From my experience that isn’t highly effective in the long term.
I invite all of you to lighten up this week. No matter what you’re dealing with, just have some fun if possible. I encourage making a game out of it. Consider playing a game with your objectives and play at work for a change. And most importantly play at home. Why do some of us make little things at home so serious? Have you tried to control a group of teenagers lately? Good luck. You got two choices. Join them, or join them. I heard someone say lately; “Life is short and then you die” and I thought well maybe so and “Life is fun and then you die” is equally true. It’s true if I make it so. It’s true if you make it so.
What fun could you have this week? How could you see your role in life as more lighthearted? Dr. Ron Hulnick at the University of Santa Monica would very often say to me, “if you are going to have a fantasy; have one you win at.”. It’s pretty obvious what that means. I like that way of thinking, because I spend many hours each week listening to people create the crap that is going to happen to them. Can you see the opportunity here?
I want to hear some of your stories about how you lighten up and lead this week. Maybe you have some ideas that we can all lead into.
Watch this short video as a reminder of what comes so naturally to all of us.
Love Stephen
It was a public declaration of life. There were a thousand of us that put our bodies into the ice cold water of the Boulder Reservoir on New Years Day. While we all did the same thing, which to most seems crazy; everyone did it with there own personal style.
It was like being stuck with pins and needles as I swam/ran my way to the ice edge of the lake. Actually, it hurt like hell; until the exhilaration overtook the physical pain. It was exhilarating, life affirming as my friend Steve Ruskaup called it. That’s why we did it, at least; that’s why many of us did it. I felt free, alive and grateful for the warm hot tub that awaited each of us slip sliding our way out of the ice lake. It was a moment of created bliss, once the blood found my legs again. I will do it again.
Life Leadership is a constant proclamation of life. It’s a confirmation that things are Ok, that good things prevail. It’s a conscious step in a direction or affirmation of an intention. It’s a step in the direction of creation. It’s a step in the direction of creating a result. It’s letting go of the past and stepping into the now of Life and Business. It makes us different. It takes courage to proclaim something. It’s scary because resistance is almost always there to point out the insanity of something powerful. The resistance will show up inside of you and it will show up from other people. It will show up as cold water, a bad economy, a lost job, and a chocolate éclair. I don’t know how it will show up for you. What I can promise, is it WILL show up. It shows up to test the proclamation. To see how it showed up for me and my friend on New Year’s Day CLICK HERE or below…
No matter how strong the resistance is, I recommend you do it anyway. I recommend you find something that is life affirming that you want to proclaim today. What will it be? Will it be giving up something or gaining something. You will choose…as it is really not for anybody else but you. You will be enthused as you proclaim a life affirming action today. You will likely feel the energy move in your body and your spirit as you step forward. My question for you today; what will you proclaim to yourself today and into this year? Will you share it with me, with us; on this blog site? It would be supportive to do it publicly with something that means a great deal to you. The public proclamation will serve you no matter what you have decided to do.
This is what Leaders do. Leaders tell their teams and families what they are going to do. This is not an ego statement; rather it is a commitment statement. I invite you to sit for moment now and consider what you will proclaim today that affirms your life more fully. Sharing it, will be the very first step. To see the result of my commitment to jump into an icy cold lake CLICK HERE or below…
Blessings abound and Lead ON….
Dear Leader,
I spent the past few days in New York City with my family celebrating the holiday. During one of our adventures we ran across a statue of Atlas that inspired me to create a short video in the moment. I’m deeply committed to helping you make 2010 the best year of your life. So celebrate your successes of 2009…and get ready to rock!
To access the video simply CLICK HERE or hit play below…
Happy New Year!
With Gratitude,
Stephen McGhee
Dear Leader,
This week I am off at a meditation retreat preparing for an amazing new year. In place of a blog message I decided to try something new. Before I left, I recorded a mini-podcast entitled Creating Your Life and/or Business Through Your Speaking. This message was inspired by a powerful insight that has helped many of my clients to achieve incredible results in their lives. I’m excited to share this insight with you.
I hope you enjoy this form of media that I’m introducing to you today. It is my plan to create many more along with my blog. I would love to hear any comments you have about the content of the message or the form it is delivered in. To access the podcast simply CLICK HERE.
I wish you a blessed and abundant holiday celebration!
With Gratitude,
Stephen
Have you ever heard a song that touched you so deeply that you had a chill go up your spine? Have you seen a sunset lately that made your eyes moist with loving tears? Have you ever watched a movie that was so amazing that you text your best friend before the credits have rolled? I call those inspired moments and God, how I love those moments. I am blessed to have many of those moments in my life. I have those more and more and more…as I live more closely to my own sense of Self. There are actually many of them around me, especially when I slow myself down enough to really appreciate them. Here’s the question.
Do you feel those moments just happen or are they created?
This last weekend for me was 48 hours of infused inspiration. My veins were pumping nothing but goodness over the entire weekend. I believe, it was a creation. We created it. There were twelve of us that came together, for the second half of my Coaching Prosperity School. Every single person showed up. Can you hear that? I don’t just mean they got on a plane, flew to Phoenix, and ‘kind of’ showed up. What I mean, is that they showed up on every level. Every single one was there with the generosity of Spirit. It was a weekend that is embedded in my mind forevermore. I mean forever. I will not forget it.
What made it so special? From my view, there were many things that came together at once. Everyone was committed to making a difference in the world. I don’t mean a small difference. What I’m talking about is true and expansive service to the world. These people do not apologize for who they are. They own who they are and share unabashedly their convictions with no apology or concern about what others think. Everyone that shared that level of passion did it from a place of “ownership” versus making other people wrong about anything that they felt. There was perpetual freedom ringing in the room. People advanced in their lives and committed to dreams and goals that had my heart palpitate.
Steve Hardison, the great master coach was there. www.theultimatecoach.net He spent two hours being leadership in motion. He is a master at Being There.
I sincerely wish you were there. I wish this because on some level, by being a follower of my blog…you already get it. You are that. I know that and so today, I simply want to share. I want to give to you a moment in time that everything is just right. There is no place to go, nobody to get to, just perfection in a moment that stands still. It doesn’t move at all. These moments sit still and beg for deep breathing, peace and creativity. These moments are always with us. So, stop right now and have a moment. Have a moment of appreciation. Get out of your head and sit still for 2 minutes and just BE there. Have you seen that movie Being There? I saw it and hated it at first. It was too slow for me. I wanted action. I wanted to be entertained. Then, I slowed down and got there with the movie. Once that happened, I did not need to be entertained. It makes sense to Be There. Watch the movie.
Leaders do that. Most of them, unless they don’t; and if they don’t they burn out over time. We get serious, nothing is funny. Everything is a hassle.
Take a moment today and consider what I am saying. Just consider this week of Thanksgiving as a week of permission to Be There. To be there with your family…be with them and celebrate what you have created. Be with your life and be with YOU.
Thank you for reading this and for sharing so much with me this year. My gift to you today is a 4 minute video from this last weekend. This was a spontaneous moment caught on a flip video. These are my two amazing lifelong friends, Todd and Mark Musselman signing with freedom and passion. So see, in a way you are there.
CLICK HERE to watch the video.
Have a wonderful Holiday…and Lead On.
Filed under: Personal Transformation | Tags: life purpose, personal growth, self help, stephen mcghee
I read somewhere that JFK lived with chronic back pain for most of his adult life. Historians say that at times the pain became so intolerable that he had to lie on his back for weeks at a time. How is it possible that a man could accomplish what he did with such a chronic health issue?
While I am no way comparing myself to President Kennedy, I have had some significant physical pain lately. I won’t bore you with the painful drama. Suffice it to say that drinking water in a public fountain in Dubrovnik Croatia is not recommended. Stomach pain wreaks havoc.
Like everything in my life, I learned something from this experience. I discovered that pain and purpose have a relationship. To show up powerfully in life, your purpose must be greater than your pain. How many of you reading this wake up on some mornings with a pain in your glorious body? In the last few weeks, I have had a host of days where I hurt. I hurt lying down, I hurt standing up. It even hurt to sleep. Some days I was doubled over from the pain. There did not seem to be anyway I could “get comfortable” However, I discovered one thing that helped. What I discovered is more powerful than morphine. It’s more powerful than positive thinking. It should be put in a bottle and sold by Merck Pharmaceutical. The one thing that eased my discomfort over the last few weeks was my purpose.
I found that when I pulled my butt out of bed in the morning and went out to serve other people, my purpose smothered my pain. I felt better by assisting others in their lives. I assisted people in their businesses, relationships and just about anything that came my way. This is not about recognition or martyrdom. I did it for me. I did it because it took my mind off of me and directed my energy moving toward something useful. Some people say they don’t have a purpose. I suggest that’s a cop out. We all have a purpose. Our purposes might even change from day to day. We might feel purposeful when we write, or when we sing, or when we walk the dog, or when we lead a strategy session for our sales team. We all have a purpose.
Here’s my question for you. Is your purpose bigger than your pain? It’s a powerful formula and I highly recommend it. I recommend that once you have taken care of yourself on the physical level, that you do your purpose. I am not talking about the old motto “no pain, no gain”…and I am not even suggesting you avoid doctors and be Mr. Tough Guy. No one is exempt from experiencing physical pain. The gift of pain is learning how to use it to serve. I learned from my pain. I learned that taking the focus off my pain and placing it on something useful has value to it. I also learned that avoiding the pain is no solution either. I found that embracing it and using it IS an intelligent strategy. This idea goes beyond the concept of positive thinking or faking it until you make it. I feel that’s rubbish…as in my view it goes beyond that. It’s not to be avoided either. You can’t avoid that kind of pain. It’s always there, waiting, wanting something. I say give it something. Give the pain a job. How many leaders in our history gave their pain a job?
I have a dear friend that was diagnosed with cancer last December. While I have not once heard him complain about his pain, I know he has pain in his body. He has had surgeries and chemo, more chemo and pokes and needles and etc….This man is inspiration in motion. He never wavers and has more life pumping through his conversations than most body builders. He reeks of love and leadership and life. He smacks of a man living his purpose. He is love happening now. He waits for nothing. My conversations with him are rich and valuable. Every minute with him is worth something. He lives fully and his pain wanes in his purpose. This is not to say he is avoiding his healing protocol. He takes care of himself while using his pain to live his purpose. At least, that is what these humble eyes can see.
How do you use your personal pain to your advantage? Define personal pain? Maybe it’s not a cramped stomach or a knee joint. Perhaps your personal pain is emotional upset. How would you use that to be a better leader? Why not? Everything has some value in it. Everything!!!
I love my friend Craig and I live for him today.
I had a big bruise and some blood on my ego. Why? Because I kept beating my head against the same habit and not getting any results. How many of us reading this can relate to the feeling of spending 80 percent of your time on a 20 percent result? That’s not very smart is it? It’s not very smart for me, because I value making a difference in my work and I am finding that 80 percent of the results in my business and my life come from 20% of my focus. Now, I realize I am piggy backing off of the great Italian economist Vilfredo Pareto who taught us this value in what he called Pareto’s principle. Basically Mr. Pareto’s research shows that spending 20 percent of our time on certain priorities, can produce 80 percent of our results in life and business. While his work was predominately applied to projects, resources, time and management function; today I am seeing a much deeper application.
The deeper application of this principle has more to do with people in our lives. Have you noticed that there are people that once you leave their presence you feel lifted and inspired, while others leave you feeling drained. At the risk of divulging my own judgments, there is a deeper application to this reality than some might think. Have you ever considered that there are some people that no matter what you do, no matter how kind; or how service oriented you are will continuously leach your energy? These people are stingy. They take more than they give and most conversations are about what is not working rather than what is working. These people can take 80 percent, and in some cases even more, of your valuable life energy. Life energy and enthusiasm are vital to leaders. My point is not about judging others; rather it is about personal preferences around who you want in your precious life. Most people are really busy these days and don’t have time to spend that much energy with certain people or situations.
Today, I invite you as a Life Leader to consider the compassion and courage in cutting those people and situations free from your life. It can be done with Loving and it can be done with Grace. However, some of us just keep trying to please those people. If you look at the history of your relationships you will see what I am talking about. It’s true with clients and customers as well you will find that you will spend an inordinate amount of physical, emotional, and mental energy on trying to “please” certain customers. What am I recommending? I am recommending that you “serve” yourself and others by having the courage to set yourself free. Sometimes there is just not a fit. Sometimes communicating that there is not a fit is the leader like thing to do.
This week, I found myself in my own self imposed predicament. I woke up one morning this week with a very heavy heart. I can’t remember the last time I woke up not looking forward to the day. I found myself whining. I was pissed off at myself for finding myself in this place. It was not anybody’s fault. It was not even my fault. It is a simple act of awareness. If you’re not having fun with certain people or customers in your Life and Business, I recommend setting those people free by having the courage to acknowledge there may not be a fit. If it is not a fit for you, it probably is not a fit for them either. Complete these relationships with dignity and integrity and don’t wait too long as avoidance will only rob you of precious time and energy.
Now, let’s be clear; I am not talking about quitting when the going gets tough. I am talking about being clear regarding your life and leadership priorities and consciously devoting 80 percent of your time to the 20 percent that livens your spirit. That 20 percent comes from the situations and people in your life that are actually appreciative of your time and are aligned with getting results. This one shift will save you 80 percent of your energy that now can be spent creating great results and being with people that you love to be with you too. I realize that some of us are in jobs that require us to spend time on situations that we cannot disengage from. I am not talking about those. I am talking about the people and situations that you can choose to be with or without. However, as a leader you must know there is always a choice of some kind. Always!
Here’s the deal. You have only so much time each day. How do you want to spend your day and your life? This is not some emotional rationalization. It’s real, it’s necessary, and it works! Forget about the heavy heart and find your Light again by choosing where you focus your energy. What people do you want to spend more time with? Those people deserve your presence and there will be exponential energy from those relationships. Basically today is about finding your 20/80? Reevaluate today. What action will you take? How will this free you up to serve your business, your family and your life?
Blessings abound.
Stephen
