The Get Real Blog

I was speaking on the East Coast this past week and out of the blue, I began to question what the difference is between positive thinking and intelligence? It’s not like I am the resident expert on either subject. However there was something magical as I talked about what the two meant to me. First, I think positive thinking has been a good thing for many people. Let’s just say the endeavor to be “positive” will likely be more serving for most people than the endeavor to be cynical. However, I have known some people (yes, even me in my not so distant past) that have been more positive than intelligent…so let’s explore that.

I remember once having a really bad head cold. You know the kind, including red eyes, runny nose, fever, and a plastic smile. People would say: How are you feeling?  I’d instinctively reply something along the lines of “I feel great. I feel better all the time. Don’t worry about me”….  “I am fine”.  That’s almost as yuck as the cold itself. Everyone knew I felt like crap. I looked like crap.  It was just not real.  I don’t really know where that began for me. Maybe it was the Peter Lowe seminar I did in the mid 1990’s. Somewhere along the lines I got good at saying I was great…fine…wonderful…without really being present with the truth.   I’m sure I’m not the only one who has had this conversation.

Now having said that, let’s introduce intelligent thinking into the mix. It might have been more intelligent (meaning to have some degree of wisdom) to cop to the fact that I had something funky running out my nose, my body ached and I needed to sleep. In fact, I submit it would have been in the realm of intelligent thinking to admit that “I don’t feel great” and “I am doing some things to take care of myself. I am taking vitamin C…I am getting more rest….I am clearing this head cold by tomorrow morning”. The idea is one of presence and real about what is happening as an intelligent way of being.  I believe the “I’m fine” answer has become our collective “auto-response” to the question.  My challenge to you is to speak the truth and move on, rather than speaking for the sake of having words to say.

I think movements like “The Secret” and many other good news programs can really support us in our journey to live beautiful lives. However, it’s important that we not lose touch with the reality of what we are really dealing with. I am not encouraging us to get stuck in “stinking thinking” but rather to embrace the situation as we choose a new direction for a solution.

Obviously the runny nose example is plebian…and you can relate to the same scenario with your work projects, fitness programs, finances etc. It makes no sense to not be real and authentic. In fact, I believe once you can really “own” your runny nose, you can move yourself to healing more quickly than if you were to deny it. Because you cannot leave a place that you have never been – getting real with where you are empowers you to clearly see the next steps to move towards what you want to create.

Being authentic is the grease on the slide of life. You can move more freely and most people will feel closer to you…than if you play it “cool” all the time. Two of the greatest business coaches I know, Steve Hardison and Steve Chandler use life tribulations to inspire others on to greatness. I invite you to do the same from moment to moment to moment. Be real, be authentic, and seek the solutions that catapult you into a powerful way of living.

I’ve been thinking about commitment. Commitment used to be one of those words that scared me. Perhaps I was afraid I would not be very good at committing to things. However, as I have learned more about commitment I have found the concept to be exhilarating. Consider that being committed to something is actually a great way to achieve freedom. I think freedom is at the core of what so many of us are looking for as an experience.

As a professional coach I ask lots of people what they want in their lives. Many times people say “Money”…ok great…and what will money do for you…well it will give me freedom. I can understand that. Consider this as a possibility – I think that commitment comes before freedom can be achieved. I also think a significant time commitment to your success comes before financial freedom. (Unless you are a trust funder or you’re good at scratching lotto tickets.)

In either case, you will still not likely be free on the inner levels until you have some level of commitment to your Self. By this, I mean that the things I follow through on in my life feel good. It’s like that guy in the tight shirt singing…:” I feel good, I feel good”….it works. Try it Mikey.

Commitment is good.  It is good for love. It is good for work. It doesn’t have to be boring. For example, you can be committed to having fun or you can be committed to adventure. I know a lot of people that are committed (no not the asylum) and I know lots of people not committed. I have people tell me lots of times they are committed to things that they aren’t. I can hear commitment in a person’s voice. It just rings with a certain tone.  Commitment is one of those things that can be thwarted by fears and past experiences.  Once we establish a notion that committing is “bad” or “scary,” it will definitely block the process.

I used to judge people that weren’t committed…and then the sobering reality hit me – I was just seeing me in them. Now that I can see it…I no longer have the judgment.   I realized how many times I had said I was committed to something and I quite possibly really believed I was. But I really wasn’t. It’s all good though – because that’s how I am learning. However, it inspired me to see commitment differently than I ever had before.  That is to no longer look at everything as “working or not working”. For example: If I am committed to a project…I am committed to making that project successful regardless of what is working or not working. I will be committed to the end.

What are you committed to?